A kiss in half promise, half waring

If you told me that a year ago, I wouldn't deny, wouldn't argue with you 'cos it is true that you love me more. I could tell from everything that you did for me, the little sacrifices here and there, how you would tolerate my nonsense and still decide to stick with me.


I'm so tired of being shouted at over the smallest thing, having to be picked on everything. It seems like whatever I do, it never pleases you. No matter how hard I try, it never does. The one time when it does is probably when I bought you something you like, or treat you to food. Anything that does not require you to fork out money or effort. No I'm not trying to make you sound bad or gain sympathy from my friends but this is the way you make me feel.

I thought after the heart-to-heart talk we had yesterday, you would stop your nonsense and learn to control your emotions. I was wronged. Yet again.

Now, whenever I do something for you, or whatever it is even if it's just telling you something, I have to think if I would get shouted at again for being to be me. I hate to fight back because it is how a cold war start. And who is to end it? Me. It's me again. Always has been. She can insult me, you don't tell her in that strict serious tone that she is not allowed to insult me as much as she hates me but you tell me in that hateful tone to NEVER insult her for she is your best friend. So now your best friend weighs so much more than your girlfriend does. Whoa, impressive huh.

Why won't you understand? Why won't you put yourself in my shoes to think how you'd feel if you were me? Why you never thought that a hug that lasts for 5 seconds and saying you're sorry & then immediately divert to another topic is not going to help me feel better? WHY YOU NEVER THOUGHT FOR ME AND ONLY CARE ABOUT YOURSELF?


If this were to happen a year ago, I would have given up & walked away from you feeling relieved.
A year from then, I decided that you are who I wanna stick with and fight for no matter what. But you keep, without fail, disappoint me again and again.

Tomorrow will be a better day, something I hope for every single day.

p/s: to you, call me fake if you deem fit but happy birthday. i hope it was a great one especially with ___ around. i hope the cold war is over, i hate seeing us like this. <3
p/p/s: you're the best, bff, i love you (L)