You know, it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this.

3am, you're fast asleep in your cozy bed. Here I am, thinking of all the things you said and done & crying myself silly until I feel better, until I fall asleep. The whole episode since a month ago 'til now, it left me empty, disappointed & upset. This fight is not over. I wish it'd be over soon or right now because I'm exhausted. I'm tired of feeling tired.

What happened?
What happened to us?
What is it that changed?
What was it that I did that ruined the happiness?

I wished I was loved by someone the way I love you. I wanna know how it feels like, how fortunate or painful it is to be with me. Is it so fortunate that you forgot I'm human? Is it so painful that it snaps easily, the sound of my name made you think if it is worth to stay?

I've fought, I've tried, I've cried, I've done almost everything I could ever think of to show you I am worth it. I am much worthy than those trashy girls you told me about, than that girl sitting in fifth row in class that you told me is pretty.

Been wanting to cry so bad & when the song Need You Now by Lady Antebellum played, tears started running like a tap.

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk, and I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now.


I dare not think about the years. I just want to be happy in 5 days.

You swallow your sleep & wake up in the morning to find out you are not who you used to be

Intensive studying starts today.

Went Vivo City with bff & Chrissy to study. Had Long John Silver for lunch, om nom nom! Damn happy to be eating ljs 'cos I haven't had it in a long while. Couldn't find proper seat at Starbucks 'cos their tables are round, and it's very difficult for the tree of us to study together on a round table so I suggested Gloria Jeans. I remembered Jemi & I went there to study once without getting anything & they didn't chase us away! Went there, bought ice latte & it sucks :x I NEED ICE BLENDED CARAMEL :(

 

 

 

 

 

 

Union heels spotted in JUICE magazine! :D

Left the place at around 7ish. Headed to Superdog for dinner!! Hahaha my virgin try ^^ it's damn good. I love the chilli fries. I had cheeseburger, bff had chicken burger & Chrissy had the hotdog! Definitely going back for more :) Thanks Chrissy for the recommendation!

 

 

My cheeseburger!

Chrissy hahahaha

They two = <3

Mom & dad are planning a trip to Bangkok & bff's gonna tag along! I hope the talk with her mom will go well.. I AM DAMN EXCITED & SCARED & NERVOUS :( If she can't come, I'll be damn sad. Cannot wait for her to get back to me!

Off to study, toodles! :>

Happy birthday, Hanice!
Happy birthday, Louis!

Today is definitely a day to remember :) assignment in the noon, surprised Hanice in the evening. Glad everything went according to plan! Will do a proper post real soon before I start mugging for exams :)

xoxo,
Glynis

When you are in love, you can't fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams

It's that feeling you get right in your core, when you look around, look at all the people you're surrounded by, and realize that these people are home. And one of the people who gave me the feeling of home, is you baby :)

I'm thankful we talked things out. I'm so glad we did. Despite disturbing Angie & bff in the cinema by texting you that night, I'm happy. 1am in the midst of the movie, I poured my heart out to you, telling you how I let us go so as to see if you'd chase us back. How I no longer cry for you, how the pain is slowly going away. And you did. You made an extra effort, go an extra mile for us.

A lot has changed, I'd say. We talked about our future, our many days together. You made me laugh more than usual. You do stupid things to upset me but to coax me, you do stupider things. You save up for driving lessons in order to drive us to wherever we wanna go, so we don't have to take the long torturous killing-us-slowly public transport. You make an effort to come down to my place and pick me before we head out (which I absolutely love, heh :)). You pay for my transport! Heh, you used to and did it again. You don't complain or grumble when I'm late for our dates. Your random "I love you bee" while we are shopping or walking dow the street makes me happy. You plan our year-end getaway and this year, it's bigger & better (not forgetting, the huge hole in our pockets :/). Every night the last thing I hear from you is "Goodnight baby, I love you" and this has never changed for the past two years, four months.

Thank you for making an effort to love me better, bb <3

Part of you pours out of me in these lines from time to time

"And there's no worse feeling than when you wake up and feel okay for a minute and then that sick feeling washes over you and you remember it's not okay."

This is what I've been feeling lately. And it sucks. You don't ever wish to be me.

And I want you to know you're as important as they are but it seems like to you, it is not enough. So I'm gonna prove it to you that you are important to me. Because you really are. You play the biggest part in my life and you don't know that. It's tough being me you know. How much I wish you can click with them and we can hang out like friends do but you can't do that for me. But I don't wanna force you. If you're happy, be that way. When you're happy, I will be too.


Work is great. Angie & Hanice is what that keep me going. I don't wanna give up this job but I know my parents want me to. I've never found so much satisfaction in my job before, this is the first time & I never thought of leaving until Angela talked about a waste of talent blah blah. Jon also told me if I were to stay there for good, it's a waste. Like, why the fuck did I take diploma in mass comm for? I know, I know.. I'm too attached to this job and the people there.

Yknow I've wanted a group of friends that I could hang out with. Mutual friends with my girlfriend & close friends. And this job gave me a group of friends that I've never thought I'd be able to be so crazy with, have so much fun with. When I'm at work, they drop by to say hi laugh laugh laugh and bye off they go. When I'm not working, we arrange to have dinner together. Sit at Mos Burger like we own the whole place, refuse to leave until they close. With them, I saw my true self. I can be effing crazy, laugh loudly like no tomorrow, cry because my heart can take no more, say the most disgusting shit ever, wear the ugliest clothes that show my flaws & feel comfy with them looking at me, do the ugliest techno shit dance in a crowded club, eat like I've never had bak kut teh all my life and they still love me the same, just as I love them. Isn't that amazing?

Thank God for putting them in my life :) x

Why am I the one who's still crying?

"When you truly trust someone you care about, you don't have to wonder if they love you as much as you love them."

Funny thing is, I wonder about this everyday.


I know you don't love me as much as I love you. I can't blame you. Maybe I'm not the same girl that you fell in love with

/



Kelly Clarkson - Already Gone


This current earworm has been on repeat for 27 times and counting. The lyrics fits me very very well & it speaks of my emotions.


Please, I wanna be right where you are tomorrow. I need to be next to you, hand in yours wherever we go. I need the comfort. I don't wanna breakdown right now. I need to start Monday right so the week will be better than this..

I’ve loved you then, like I love you now, like I probably always will

What defines a best friend? What are the requirements to be a good best friend? How many hours a week does it entail? Stupid questions that have no answers. A best friend is not defined by how many times they talk on the phone, or how many hours they hang out together. It is not defined by how many sleepovers they gossip at, or how many inside jokes they have. There are no requirements or laws that state that a good best friend must hang out with them every weekend, or tell each other every little detail. A best friend is a matter of opinion. It is the person who has been there for you through everything, not just through the fun things, or the little things. It is the person that you call when you are at your absolute worst, it is the person who saves you when you didn't even notice that you needed saving, mostly it is the person who accepts you for who you are, and the person that you are becoming.

School was nothing but tiring despite it being a 3-hour class.

After class we did the best thing ever. Guitar hero <3 No pictures but everyone should definitely try it. Don't know how to play? Just whack. Hit the buttons and press press press! It sure does releases some stress yknow. I had so much fun today. Thank you guys :)

And we're getting on better. I didn't wanna tell you what I told you but I still told you instead before you start regretting & pulling my legs as I leave you. See? You mean so much to me. You know what I meant when I say we cannot be friends. Either lovers or friends. Choose one. I cannot see you with someone else other than me. I'm sorry, this is really selfish. I know how much you want me as your friend but I can't do it. It'll take a long time for me to get over this relationship & when it is over, I will not be able to look at you the same way for I've given so much in this relationship & I cannot call you 'my friend'.


I am so happy. I wanna be like this everyday.

But one thing, 30 minutes into Tuesday & I'm still here. I wanna be sleepy now so I can wake up on time tomorrow!!! :@

7 Habits of Highly Ineffective People

1. Not showing up.
One of the biggest and simplest thing you can do to ensure more success in your life – whether it be in your social life, your career or with your health – is simply to show up more. If you want to improve your health then one of the most important and effective things you can do is just to show up at the gym every time you should be there.

2. Procrastinating half the day. To keep it short, my 3 favourite ways to get out of a procrastinating state are:

A good start in the morning lifts your spirits and creates a positive momentum for the rest of the day. That often creates a pretty productive day.

Split a task into small actionable steps. Then just focus on the first step and nothing else. Just do that one until it’s done. Then move on to the next step.

I find this guided mediation to be very useful. After 20 minutes of mostly just lying on my bed and listening I’m far more productive for a few days.

3. When actually doing something, doing something that isn't the most important thing right now.
When you have prioritized using this rule just write down the top 3 most important things you need to do that day. Then, from the top, start doing them. Even if you just get one of the things done, you have still done the most important thing you could do today.

4. Thinking too much. 
Compulsively thinking and thinking and thinking is just another way to waste your time. You don’t have to examine everything from every angle before you try it. And you can’t wait for the perfect time to do something. That time never comes. And if you keep thinking you’ll just dig yourself down deeper and deeper and taking action will become more and more difficult. Instead you just need to stop thinking. Shut of your mind – it just helps you up to a point – and go do whatever you need to do.

5. Seeing the negative and downsides in just about anything.

When you see everything from a negative perspective you quickly punch a hole in your own motivation. You find faults everywhere and problems where there are really none. You cling to details. If you want to find a reason to not do something then that’s no problem. From a negative viewpoint you can find ten reasons every time.

6. Clinging to your own thoughts and being closed to outside influences.

It can be hard to admit that what you thought or believed was not the best alternative. So you cling to your thoughts harder and harder and keep your mind closed. This makes it hard to improve and for instance to become more effective. Even really considering the possibility that you can change your life can be difficult in this position.

7. Constantly on information overload. 
With information overload I don’t just mean that you read a lot. I pretty much mean an overload in all input. If you just let all information flow into your mind it will be hard to think clearly. It’s just too much stimulation.

(x)

I'm guilty of #2, #4 & #5 for sure! :b Procrastinate is something I do everyday. Having too much on my mind caused me to be sleepless all the time. Negative thoughts always get the best of me.

Cozycot event at Expo, flea at Home Club & dinner with bffz & bblove!!!!!!! <3

#501 out of 1001 things I want in a lover: Someone who will do anything to see me, even if it's just for a minute

Current earworm: Lights - The Listening (Acoustic)

"Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop trying to figure out precisely how we feel, and stop deciding with our mind what we want our heart to feel. more often than not, sometimes we just have to go with 'whatever happens, happens'."

Wish I could..

Been crying for the past hour. Guess I don't deserve to be happy. My happiness is always so short-lived. Wished you lived a little longer in me, happiness, my dear.

Every day I think about you half as much as I did the day before. But I'll never stop thinking about you. Your name still roll off my tongue all the time, you're a topic that I'll always bring up in conversations. Do you know that?


I wanna feel better soon. I guess I kept so much inside of me, I cannot take it anymore. I don't wanna be this sad, I wanna be okay. Just okay. Never mind if I'm not happy, because this unhappy life I've been living, I'm getting so used to it. I guess I'll be strong enough to take it all.

God, please..

I'm only there so that you're not alone

On Saturday, Khloe lent me her digital Harinezumi. I just went on snapping, happily. Unknowingly it came up to 58 photos within a really short period of time. And also because my compact cam died on me, I used the Harinezumi to snap most of the time. Ever since then, I am so fucking tempted to just tell Khloe I'll take Harinezumi, the jelly lens that sissy wanted & the red/white holga. So. Fucking. Tempted!!!!! I can never get enough of lomo cams or cameras.

This is how the Harinezumi look like!

Small & compact, light weight! Need not develop the films at all. All you need a SD card reader to upload the photos you've taken. What is amazing about Harinezumi is that, you can take photos & videos! I'm so amazed. This costs like $230. :s I've to work for two weeks to get that much amount of money :( Should I get it, should I get it!!!!!!?

Shall show you guys a few photos that I snapped :)

Khloe & I

Bff & I

Me, tending the stall at the bazaar!

Lift :D

Backstage - my favourite shot!

Pretty heels for the pretty models :>

The clothes

Bff at the bazaar!

Pretty, aren't they!?!!! Got a few more but check them out in my Facebook :) But this cam costs two weeks' pay!!!!!! Bff thinks that it is a tad too pricey for a small cam like this. Khloe suggested if I think it is too price for my liking, I can get VistaQuest.

VistaQuest VQ 1005 in red!

This costs $97, retailing at PageOne bookstore. The difference between VQ & Harinezumi is VQ does not have LCD screen but Harinezmi have. I can earn $97 back if I work for three days...

HOW NOW BROWN COW I CANNOT DECIDE :(:(:(

I'll continue considering, while you readers help me make up my mind by commenting, ok luv!