Monday, February 2, 2009

Hearts are broken by words left unspoken

I love you, J. Not maybe, not tomorrow, not someday but right now - at this very moment. I realized something. I need you. I trust you, I admire you, I want you. And you can be wrong a lot of the time, & we can fight, & get mad at each other, but nothing, nothing in this world can change the fact that I love you.

I'm sorry for making you sleep at wee hours in the morning lately. Late night phone calls with you always feel so familiar. We could just go on and on talking for hours, and when we stopped talking, we know that the silence is okay. I like that we're making plans for Vday and also sacrificing a little here and there for each other. So far the plan spells perfect. Can't wait for the exams to be over, can't wait to be free, can't wait to spend time with you.

Also thank you, for letting me know about how you feel, your fears and whatnot, why the wait & etc. At least I feel better knowing that the feeling is mutual. When I miss you, I know that you miss me too without having you to say it. That was one of the questions I was dying to ask but afraid to know the answer. I'm glad I don't have to keep thinking if I should ask you or should I not ask anymore.

And yknow what? I'm looking forward to spend Vday with you. Whether is it to spend the night at Hotel Re!, or dinner at a coffee shop, everyday could be Vday for us, anywhere it may be, as long as I am with you.

The worst is over.
Now I'm here, and it helps to know that you're here with me too.

I will finish the last bit of revision and go to bed. I need sleep. Sleeping at 5am & waking up at 1pm is so not healthy. Wake up early tomorrow for the paper, and after the paper, I will meet J for Mac's breakfast at her place ^^ we'll stay at her place until noon/evening, and I will go back home to continue reivision for Thursday's paper. A few more days, a few more to go before I am free from all of these. Can't. Wait. Seriously.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

i am glad i am seein' you pickin' up from where you fell. you sound so happy... i feel the sides of my lips curlin' up. i do feel happy for you too.

though a part of me wants you. no dont get the wrong idea. i want to be friends now as simple as that.

things are lookin' up. good luck for exams!


February 3, 2009 at 3:13 AM  

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