Saturday, January 31, 2009

Forget the things we swore we meant

(Ignore the whole part if you're not interested to know about someone's ugly deeds)
The truth. It has finally seen light.

Today was supposed to be a very happy day for me. But it all turned out really bad. Can't believe I still cried so hard. Tiong Bahru is the place that the four of us were seen crying at, ha ha ha not fun okay.

I hate to be hidden in the dark. It's horrible being me now. But girls, I'm thankful, for telling me everything that I have to know. And I'm sorry, for throwing my temper and flaring up in the midst of nowhere..I guess you should know by now I really hate lies, liars and their whole not being able to tell the effing truth issue. Anyway I love y'all <3 The whole 'don't tell Glynis' shit has to stop. I'm hearing too much lies. I had enough. I am quite exseparated, I need to breathe.

I was made the biggest fucking fool. Thank you. Thanks a lot. Now I'm wondering what is it that you said was the truth, which part is not. The part about the chase, about being a monk (no one would joke at that point of time ok it was fucking serious), about being appreciative was a fucking lie. The part about dating someone else was the only truth, huh? Prove me wrong.

Do you actually expect me to wait for you, while you around looking for something else to divert your attention to before you come and think that 'hey yeh I think now it's the time'? Have I not been here for long enough? Am I not always here? I have always been here. I heard so much about 'yknow he's trying, give him some time, it'll be all good' & yada yada yada...time after time I was told I should let you be, leave you as the way you are & one day when your wires just happen to connect back to normal, you'll come and be yourself again.

And you do not fucking push the blame to me. You do not fucking do that. If you want me to say everything, every single thing, the whole entire fucking story, I will. In details. This is where my amazing cannot-forget memory comes in handy. Honesty is the best fucking policy, haven't you heard?

Karma will hit you right back. Stab you in your anal and you get it big time. It'll hurt you twice as fucking much as it is hurting me now. You just wait. You'll get yours okay.

Remember I told you about this someone whom I used to date, how badly she used to use and aduse me, how bad it all was & how things ended between us? From what I know, she is still single. It's been almost three years since she last got into a proper relationship. Even she agreed that it was karma, and it was because of what she did to me.

I'm very calm now. I said all that out of anger. And people say you say things you meant deep down in your heart when you're angry. I don't know. I kinda wish what I learned today was a damn joke, or it was a long dream that I had. But no smoke, no disappearing, no opening my eyes and see the sun shining....never mind I will continue blogging

x x x

Long John @ Tiong for quick lunch, short cry, ranting session
Gemstones headband from Charmeleon
Free flow of vulgurities
22, Boon Keng - Interview for Shim, mom & dad came to pick me
Bainian @ Aunt Doris's place
Dying for my own room
Couldn't stop pestering mama about it

Cannot stop annoying bff ^^
I love you bff, ai si ni 184 1314

I got an anonymous letter in the mailbox today. I was freaked out. No names, no initials, no note, no letter, no nothing. It contained two movie vouchers. I really wonder who was the one who sent this. I cannot recognise the handwriting either! I do not remember anyone I know of with such handwriting...

Weird much?

It'd be nice if you let me who are you. :)
I really wanna know who & I've got my ways to. Heh heh heh I went to call GV but to no avail as they were closed for the day. I will call them again on Monday. Die die must find out! I was telling A I think it's the #1 bitch but she don't have my address, neither does anyone around her.. but then again, why would she be so nice since she's made #1 bitch in all of our minds?

Today, didn't get to see you, smell you & feel your presence. (Angry :@ + Upset :/ + Disappointed :(( + Bo bian :|) x 236938472289473 !!!! Miss you miss you miss you miss youuuuuuuu sigh

Grand Copthorne Waterfront Hotel for coffee + supper for now, be back later! I will blog again later la I guess I bet this coffee + supper will be more like gossip + suffer.

P/s: I think my attempt to do up Audrey Hepburn's hair = failed :(

Secret admirer: Okay, do you know my friends then? Or do any one of my friends know you? Really curious to know who you are! Email me if you are not comfortable revealing your identity here alright :) Oh ok, happy reading then! <3

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