Friday, March 6, 2009

Time favors no one & if we wait, we too can fall in love a second too late


Let go of the parts of life you honestly don't want.

You.
You are the one part of my life that I do not want. Take away whatever you've taught me, whatever you've given me, whatever you've showered me with. Take them with you, for the rest of your life. I do not want them anymore.

I wish I didn't care so much about you. I wish I didn't want the best for you even though there's so many reasons I should hate you for. I wish it isn't that hard to talk to you or for you to talk to me.

.

You call yourself my friends, who would be there, who truly cared, who said I had your backs, who said you would always be on my side no matter what, who said I deserved better friends than those I met before. I thought you guys were really different. The kind that I can keep for a long time. The kind that 10, 20 years from now we'll get together, revive the moments we had together and be very thankful for each and everyone of us. All that "Remember when we first met?" talk and the "Remember when we said we were never gonna date a true blue ah beng?"

But I was wrong. I am wrong. Again. And again. And once more.

Why the hell did I even allow you to build hopes in me? And when they are all false hope, who am I to blame but me?

Since the last time I called you and really needed you to be there, that was then when I know that you weren't true. Those words are just words. Empty, and meaningless. Only said because you felt like it. It was then when I decided that I shouldn't treat you like how I want to be treated because it doesn't pay to be nice.

"I cannot imagine if you are alone leh. I really cannot. I feel like you are trying to be very strong lor. If I were you, I will cry la."

Her words kept ringing through my mind all the time since the moment we parted. I am strong but I don't think I am strong enough to face all of these today, not all in one fucking day. I'm so tired. So sick of losing important people. No matter how much I convinced myself into letting them go & keep going 'I really don't care about them yknow, seriously I'm not even sad!', at the back of mind when you are in trouble, or you are not found at where you are supposed to, I panic. I get worried. I start making endless calls only to find out that you are with someone and got distracted or you were in deep slumber. Even knowing that, I am still glad you are safe and sound. When you fall, I will catch you. Even if when I do, I get a sprain in my ankle, I still think it is worth it as long as you are safe and sound and happy. Why do I care so much for people who don't even care about me?

Crying is okay here but I swear I do not want to. Not for you guys again. That is the last thing I wanna do.

.

On a much lighter note, school was quite okay and we had a short but wonderful afternoon together. Window shopping = candy to the eye = sour plums to the heart. Why do I always spot on expensive things!! :(

Tomorrow we're gonna do some shopping. Yes shopping with bags and the happy-because-I-bought-something-today feeling to bring home with! We're gonna (finally) watch movie as well. I am so indecisive about which movie to watch :( Too many movies that I wanna watch to choose from. Oh and I must do some accessories shopping at Diva heh heh. Just look around, I promised myself I won't spend too much tomorrow.

Thank you for the lunch, the constant pinching and bullying and tickling and chuckling and laughing (beams), the want to buy everything for me to make me happy thought (still thinking of the Topshop high waist shorts, Topshop preppy polo tee, River Island patent/canvas shoes, Ralph Lauren tote bag, Agnes B card holder and wallet), and TCC for Lychee Jazz craving baby :) You're none other but the best!

My head needs to quit thinking, it is quite irritating. Reminds me of Jacob, being able to hear the whole wolves pack's thoughts. I'm as good as him right now. I'm gonna go rest, while I wait for baby to call me ^^

AND you can ask me if I am okay but not ask me what happened or if I care to share with you about it. I will if only I want to and willing to tell you this long grandmother story of mine. Thank you very much :)

P/s: sanks bff, and i hate you! (hate is the new love) OK BYE! See you online on Sunday night peach hey you no miss me alright just call my re xian 1800-CALL-G-BFF :)

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4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

wordy post i like hahah.cheer up yeh glynis you definitely deserve better.thank god you got jvern as your gf.

March 7, 2009 at 1:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Crying is really okay. Cry if you need to, if it makes you feel better babe.

Lots of love.

March 8, 2009 at 2:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey you no hate me! bff you no emo i tell you, even though i know the reason why, but just bear with it (: you should call me at 1800-CALL-BFF if you need help or any attention HAHAHA (L)

jvern you dont bully her -bff

March 8, 2009 at 4:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey love, i do not care what people speaks of me in those previous comments, what matters most to me is that, you do not find my constant taggin' irritatin' =)

the reason why you care about ppl who do not care about you is not your fault. you're just a genuinely nice girl but ppl around you, everyone brought up diff ways, go thru diff lifestyle in life, believes in diff things. good friends are hard to come by, maybe they will leave one day, but as long as you know you treated them genuinely, one day they will realise.

don't cry for ppl who arent worth it. i care for you. =)

with love,
Secret.Admirer

March 8, 2009 at 7:26 PM  

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