Monday, January 5, 2009

Stand up boy, I shine so bright when you're around

From now on, I won't have you fighting for me. Trust me. Say it and you get what you want. I won't bother you at all..not even a text, I've decided. As much as I need you to be here. I gotta put a stop to this before I allow it to sink too deep. But you know I'm always here whenever you need me, without fail.


To be honest, I dislike you. The closer you try to get to me, the more I dislike how boastful you are at times. But when you start to be "my friend", or at least, try to be, I feel good around you.

I don't know. You're not someone I'd call a "best friend". Sorry to burst your little bubble.


When you learn how to appreciate me, what I've been doing & what I've done, by then, I'm gone too far you can't catch me back anymore. What I'm doing and what I've done for you is no longer than attention-seeking sort. I'm sure you know it's more than just that. At times I wish you didn't exist so I won't be this unhappy. But then again, if you didn't exist, I wouldn't know what being loved feels like, what being a princess feels like, what loving someone means, what true love is all about. And honestly, doing all these isn't asking for anything. I don't harbour any hopes at all. Whether I deserve forgiveness or even a chance or not, it is up to you to decide. But remember darling, never to allow what others (especially youknowwho) say to break your train of your thoughts & your decisions. Never allow someone to manipulate your thinking.

Actions, they speak louder than words. A simple 'thank you' with no actions done can't get you anywhere.

But yknow what? I guess I'm waiting for you this time. Six months, six years. I'll be here.


Maybe what she said that day about you was right. I was utterly wrong about you. I knew I was but I still did what I did to keep you, to make you feel safe again. You're not the kind of friend everyone would sacrifice for but I did anyway. Not once, not twice. More than that. But the amount of times you sacrificed for me? Zero. In the past few years of friendship, I'm sad to say you've never sacrificed for me. Instead, you back-stabbed me a few times.

The next time you come crying to me, I should let you have a taste of your own medicine.


It's funny how a thought of you can pick me up & put me down. I was reminded of what happened that night, and what you told me about us being in the same class. I know the reason behind your whole idea, why you thought of this way. I get the picture now, after what happened the other day.

I'm sorry, is all that I can say. I know I shouldn't have reacted that way. I'm sorry.

Looking back, I think I was really brave that night. I wish you would step out of your comfort zone already. Stop being in there, I don't know what is so nice in there, really. When you're out of it, you know I am still here. Remember to tell me how is it like to be in your comfort zone, what is there so nice to see that made you stay in there for almost two months now.

Oh, happy 4th :) I hope you never forget this date, not because it's 4th on the 4th but because it was something we shared that no one understood. Remember 'cos I would never, ever forget. Not this lifetime.

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