Friday, October 23, 2009

Happy birthday, Hanice!
Happy birthday, Louis!

Today is definitely a day to remember :) assignment in the noon, surprised Hanice in the evening. Glad everything went according to plan! Will do a proper post real soon before I start mugging for exams :)


Monday, October 19, 2009

When you are in love, you can't fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams

It's that feeling you get right in your core, when you look around, look at all the people you're surrounded by, and realize that these people are home. And one of the people who gave me the feeling of home, is you baby :)

I'm thankful we talked things out. I'm so glad we did. Despite disturbing Angie & bff in the cinema by texting you that night, I'm happy. 1am in the midst of the movie, I poured my heart out to you, telling you how I let us go so as to see if you'd chase us back. How I no longer cry for you, how the pain is slowly going away. And you did. You made an extra effort, go an extra mile for us.

A lot has changed, I'd say. We talked about our future, our many days together. You made me laugh more than usual. You do stupid things to upset me but to coax me, you do stupider things. You save up for driving lessons in order to drive us to wherever we wanna go, so we don't have to take the long torturous killing-us-slowly public transport. You make an effort to come down to my place and pick me before we head out (which I absolutely love, heh :)). You pay for my transport! Heh, you used to and did it again. You don't complain or grumble when I'm late for our dates. Your random "I love you bee" while we are shopping or walking dow the street makes me happy. You plan our year-end getaway and this year, it's bigger & better (not forgetting, the huge hole in our pockets :/). Every night the last thing I hear from you is "Goodnight baby, I love you" and this has never changed for the past two years, four months.

Thank you for making an effort to love me better, bb <3

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Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Part of you pours out of me in these lines from time to time

"And there's no worse feeling than when you wake up and feel okay for a minute and then that sick feeling washes over you and you remember it's not okay."

This is what I've been feeling lately. And it sucks. You don't ever wish to be me.

And I want you to know you're as important as they are but it seems like to you, it is not enough. So I'm gonna prove it to you that you are important to me. Because you really are. You play the biggest part in my life and you don't know that. It's tough being me you know. How much I wish you can click with them and we can hang out like friends do but you can't do that for me. But I don't wanna force you. If you're happy, be that way. When you're happy, I will be too.

Work is great. Angie & Hanice is what that keep me going. I don't wanna give up this job but I know my parents want me to. I've never found so much satisfaction in my job before, this is the first time & I never thought of leaving until Angela talked about a waste of talent blah blah. Jon also told me if I were to stay there for good, it's a waste. Like, why the fuck did I take diploma in mass comm for? I know, I know.. I'm too attached to this job and the people there.

Yknow I've wanted a group of friends that I could hang out with. Mutual friends with my girlfriend & close friends. And this job gave me a group of friends that I've never thought I'd be able to be so crazy with, have so much fun with. When I'm at work, they drop by to say hi laugh laugh laugh and bye off they go. When I'm not working, we arrange to have dinner together. Sit at Mos Burger like we own the whole place, refuse to leave until they close. With them, I saw my true self. I can be effing crazy, laugh loudly like no tomorrow, cry because my heart can take no more, say the most disgusting shit ever, wear the ugliest clothes that show my flaws & feel comfy with them looking at me, do the ugliest techno shit dance in a crowded club, eat like I've never had bak kut teh all my life and they still love me the same, just as I love them. Isn't that amazing?

Thank God for putting them in my life :) x

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Sunday, October 11, 2009

Why am I the one who's still crying?

"When you truly trust someone you care about, you don't have to wonder if they love you as much as you love them."

Funny thing is, I wonder about this everyday.

I know you don't love me as much as I love you. I can't blame you. Maybe I'm not the same girl that you fell in love with


Kelly Clarkson - Already Gone

This current earworm has been on repeat for 27 times and counting. The lyrics fits me very very well & it speaks of my emotions.

Please, I wanna be right where you are tomorrow. I need to be next to you, hand in yours wherever we go. I need the comfort. I don't wanna breakdown right now. I need to start Monday right so the week will be better than this..

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Tuesday, October 6, 2009

I’ve loved you then, like I love you now, like I probably always will

What defines a best friend? What are the requirements to be a good best friend? How many hours a week does it entail? Stupid questions that have no answers. A best friend is not defined by how many times they talk on the phone, or how many hours they hang out together. It is not defined by how many sleepovers they gossip at, or how many inside jokes they have. There are no requirements or laws that state that a good best friend must hang out with them every weekend, or tell each other every little detail. A best friend is a matter of opinion. It is the person who has been there for you through everything, not just through the fun things, or the little things. It is the person that you call when you are at your absolute worst, it is the person who saves you when you didn't even notice that you needed saving, mostly it is the person who accepts you for who you are, and the person that you are becoming.

School was nothing but tiring despite it being a 3-hour class.

After class we did the best thing ever. Guitar hero <3 No pictures but everyone should definitely try it. Don't know how to play? Just whack. Hit the buttons and press press press! It sure does releases some stress yknow. I had so much fun today. Thank you guys :)

And we're getting on better. I didn't wanna tell you what I told you but I still told you instead before you start regretting & pulling my legs as I leave you. See? You mean so much to me. You know what I meant when I say we cannot be friends. Either lovers or friends. Choose one. I cannot see you with someone else other than me. I'm sorry, this is really selfish. I know how much you want me as your friend but I can't do it. It'll take a long time for me to get over this relationship & when it is over, I will not be able to look at you the same way for I've given so much in this relationship & I cannot call you 'my friend'.

I am so happy. I wanna be like this everyday.

But one thing, 30 minutes into Tuesday & I'm still here. I wanna be sleepy now so I can wake up on time tomorrow!!! :@

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