If my heart was a house, you'd be home

I promise. Next year once I start blogging, I'll notnever stop.

Blogging is an outlet for me and not blogging = keeping everything to myself. I cannot do it. I don't wanna do it. It's either that or trying to sum up my bad day in 140 characters on Twitter. It's not fun at all.


That aside, bee went Batam for a short getaway with her family. Before I left for BKK, we were arguing like mad almost everyday like it didn't matter whether I was leaving. It was the same when she was leaving. But just before we both left, everything was ok. Asking each other to be well, take care, eat well and stuff. She said (maybe not for you guys) the sweetest thing to me before she left: "Love you my baby, I will miss you. Catch you when I'm back!" It made me smile. Oh God, I'm tearing.

My phone's been silent after she left. No texts. No phone calls. No rushing to wherever my phone is when Ryan sings Love You Forever. No giggling while on the phone, no getting mad after hanging up. All until tomorrow.


I thought I'll be fine without her 'cos I always wanted some quite time alone. Now that I'm given, I don't want it. I'd rather have someone to talk to, someone to bug, someone to show what I found on the net and stuff.

This sucks.
Bee, promise me you won't go overseas anymore? Only with me? :(

7 Habits of Highly Ineffective People

1. Not showing up.
One of the biggest and simplest thing you can do to ensure more success in your life – whether it be in your social life, your career or with your health – is simply to show up more. If you want to improve your health then one of the most important and effective things you can do is just to show up at the gym every time you should be there.

2. Procrastinating half the day. To keep it short, my 3 favourite ways to get out of a procrastinating state are:

A good start in the morning lifts your spirits and creates a positive momentum for the rest of the day. That often creates a pretty productive day.

Split a task into small actionable steps. Then just focus on the first step and nothing else. Just do that one until it’s done. Then move on to the next step.

I find this guided mediation to be very useful. After 20 minutes of mostly just lying on my bed and listening I’m far more productive for a few days.

3. When actually doing something, doing something that isn't the most important thing right now.
When you have prioritized using this rule just write down the top 3 most important things you need to do that day. Then, from the top, start doing them. Even if you just get one of the things done, you have still done the most important thing you could do today.

4. Thinking too much. 
Compulsively thinking and thinking and thinking is just another way to waste your time. You don’t have to examine everything from every angle before you try it. And you can’t wait for the perfect time to do something. That time never comes. And if you keep thinking you’ll just dig yourself down deeper and deeper and taking action will become more and more difficult. Instead you just need to stop thinking. Shut of your mind – it just helps you up to a point – and go do whatever you need to do.

5. Seeing the negative and downsides in just about anything.

When you see everything from a negative perspective you quickly punch a hole in your own motivation. You find faults everywhere and problems where there are really none. You cling to details. If you want to find a reason to not do something then that’s no problem. From a negative viewpoint you can find ten reasons every time.

6. Clinging to your own thoughts and being closed to outside influences.

It can be hard to admit that what you thought or believed was not the best alternative. So you cling to your thoughts harder and harder and keep your mind closed. This makes it hard to improve and for instance to become more effective. Even really considering the possibility that you can change your life can be difficult in this position.

7. Constantly on information overload. 
With information overload I don’t just mean that you read a lot. I pretty much mean an overload in all input. If you just let all information flow into your mind it will be hard to think clearly. It’s just too much stimulation.

(x)

I'm guilty of #2, #4 & #5 for sure! :b Procrastinate is something I do everyday. Having too much on my mind caused me to be sleepless all the time. Negative thoughts always get the best of me.

Cozycot event at Expo, flea at Home Club & dinner with bffz & bblove!!!!!!! <3

#501 out of 1001 things I want in a lover: Someone who will do anything to see me, even if it's just for a minute

Current earworm: Lights - The Listening (Acoustic)

"Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop trying to figure out precisely how we feel, and stop deciding with our mind what we want our heart to feel. more often than not, sometimes we just have to go with 'whatever happens, happens'."

Wish I could..

Been crying for the past hour. Guess I don't deserve to be happy. My happiness is always so short-lived. Wished you lived a little longer in me, happiness, my dear.

Every day I think about you half as much as I did the day before. But I'll never stop thinking about you. Your name still roll off my tongue all the time, you're a topic that I'll always bring up in conversations. Do you know that?


I wanna feel better soon. I guess I kept so much inside of me, I cannot take it anymore. I don't wanna be this sad, I wanna be okay. Just okay. Never mind if I'm not happy, because this unhappy life I've been living, I'm getting so used to it. I guess I'll be strong enough to take it all.

God, please..

I miss the sound of your voice, the loudest thing in my head

Today, I realized loving you is difficult; almost unbearable. The fights, in your words, "pull our last threads," put us "on thin ice" or "on the edge of the cliff," place "a strain on our relationship," thus being "this close to being done." I never understand how you treat me sometimes, how you point out all my flaws, how you occasionally call me unpleasant things, and how you could leave as if your life would be perfect and untouched; as if I haven't made any impact. Sometimes I really don't know why I stay with you, why I bother to fight for our relationship. You, in fact, bring out the worst of me.

But still, I've never wanted anything as much as I've wanted to be with you. You bring the best out of me. We've done so much for each other, and you and I both know that it's not worth throwing all away. In going through so much together, it's unbelievable how we both could stand all of this.
More importantly, you altered my outlook on life. You’ve changed me for the better.

The good times outweigh the bad times by tons and tons, and tons.

Drowning in your love is worth it in the ending when you remind me that you love me.

I love you, too.

(x)

A subatomic blip in the temporal fabric of creation

A quick update!
I know I haven't been updating but check out my Twitter! Or follow me on Twitter (which is a much better choice, of course)!

Been spending very very little time with bee & it's making me feel so bad. I really wanna make time for her but :( sigh.. I hope work is not what that caused the distance between us. Can't wait to spend more time with you after school resumes. I love you baby :)


Work has been really good though very very tiring. Weekly I get $xxx, & monthly I'd probably get $xxxx!!! When it's pay day, we all look forward to it. But definitely, some of the money would go right back to Cy 'cos we work/shop at the same place hahahaha. Last week I got myself a wallet (finally paid for it) & bee came over, she bought a shirt! Hooray~ Supper nights with Cy, Hanice, Angela, Laura, Wen, Bff & myself. Nights where we work 'til dawn for the grand opening. Cleaning up the new office. Pick up new stocks, stock take, pack stocks 'til late. Shanelle & her club fights. Laura & her purchases hahahaha. Angela & her dirty thoughts. The one particular someone we all know we dislike the most. The new photo wall that would be up in the office/shops soon (!!!!) damn excited we can put up our beautiful faces heh heh!

Work has never brought this much amount of laughter, smiles & fatigue in my entire life. Oh, & not forgetting stress!! I treat this shop like my own, just so that I do my best & aim for the highest.


Here comes the rant.

Potluck picnic for my advance birthday celebration - which will be happening tomorrow - is a complete disappointment. The whole point of asking people to RSVP by Friday is just so that we have time to prepare enough drinks for everyone. Seems like everyone missed the point. They only start replying on late Friday or Saturday. Never mind that. Guess what? My closest friends are the ones not coming & the ones who didn't replied. (Y) Ftw "friends". I'm 75% sure it is because of your boyfriend, no? Prove me wrong. And no, I'm not pointing fingers at anyone at all. If you think it is you, so be it.

I'm so mad at myself. I should be the one organizing it instead of leaving it to you both. I should've known this plan wouldn't work out. I should've known no one will be attending at all. Why the fuck did I even thought of planning anything? I should've just spend a nice day out with bee to "celebrate". Fuck this, seriously. Like what bee said, if those who made an effort to come, good for the two of us; those who made an effort to apologise & explain why & would make it up (if it happens that is), good for me; those who did not, an eye for an eye.

I shouldn't get so affected, should I? Yeh totally.


This is one of my current earworms :)


Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you?
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You belong with me

Everything will change but love remains the same

Because I worked 'til late last night & so did bb, we decided that today shall be a very very simple day out for us, just to spend some time together since it's the weekends. :)

Cabbed down because I was late. End up wasting money because I took as much time as taking train to get to Cine by cab, wtf. Waste money!!! Quick bite at Burger King, before our movie.

Yes yes, we caught The Hangover!! Shiok much, it was really funny. Totally worth the watch. Don't miss out on this show, it is worth it. Must watch!!!!! :D

After the movie, we went to the small Korea supermart to find if there is any instant kimchi soup. They don't have it, only Meidi-ya have. I really want instant kimchi soup!!! It'd be perfect for me......... :( Took a bus to Plaza Sing & had dinner at Hong Kong Cafe. Haven't had Hong Kong Cafe in a long time!!! That outlet is fucking noisy, can't stand it. Music super loud, people talk even louder omgggg.


Dreading the arrival of Sunday............because I'm gonna stay indoors all day omg so boring!

Well I guess you'll never know but I finally let you go

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUNT FERLINE :) <3

Aunt's birthday celebration dinner was at Chilli Padi Nyonya Cafe. Nyonya buffet we had :) The variety of food was a little. I prefer buffet with a lot of choices of food to choose from, so much so that I can't decide what to eat! Then I'll try a little of all :)

Didn't get to take much photos of the food because I was busy taking care of Jenae ^^

 

Mee siam

 

Laksa

 

Gado gado - my favourite!!

 

The See sisters!

 

  

  

Look at her tongue!! Hahahaha

 

Her twist hahaha so cuteeeee

 

Dad & Mom

 

Aunt Shirley & Uncle Eric

 

Uncle Leow & Aunt Ferline

There's a photo of Chester & his girlfriend, Qiu Ling but not nice!!! So I didn't post. (Che, if you want the photos, tell me okay I'll zip & send them to you!) After dinner, we went to walk around Bugis Junction. Boring place, super boring!!!! They bought stuff, we left after that. Kept pestering dad that I wanna go for beancurd & he bought us there with Uncle Eric they all. Yay beancurd!!!!!!

 

  

Beancurd with pearls (:

'Cos Uncle Leow they all went to check out this buffet place at Punggol Marina, he suggested to have supper at Macdees. :S super sinful!!!! Nyonya buffet, beancurd, Macdees :/ Had shaker fries, sat around, talked to Qiu Ling. She was very shy as this is the first time she meet the whole family. But I can tell she's very happy to come together with all of us to celebrate Aunt Ferline's birthday. She was having fun with Chester. Really wish to talk to her more though. She looks interesting!! (:

Day out with bb tomorrow! Looking forward, so is she! Thinking of catching a movie. She wants to watch Duplicity but no timing.. Hm, we'll see how!

My arms won't free you; my heart won't try

Love is the scars on your knees, the leftover food in the refrigerator, the song the birds sing, the pain you inflict, the sweet nothingness that flutters from your lover's mouth, a half-complete cigarette, diet coke which fizzles on your tongue, the rainbow sprinkles on your cupcake, the battered package you received in the mail the other day, the sound of wind escaping through a small gap in the window, the dampness of your hair, the chipped red varnish on your fingernails, your grandmother's musical box, the ballet shoes you've had since you were five, the music playing on your car stereo, the flaky paint on your walls, the bubblegum stuck under desks, the tooth-fairy, your hands and the things you can make with them, the kisses you blow, the clothes you wear, 5 AM morning breath, your sensitive teeth, the tingly feeling you get when you get touched at certain parts of your body, the tangles in your lover's hair, sleepless nights, overdosing on painkillers, undeserved success and recognition, telling lies and not getting caught, blacking out from consuming too much alcohol, being desired by multiple parties, solving a mathematical problem, watching the people around you, watching the people messing up around you, screaming out your window in the middle of the night, flaming your lover's ex, smudged mascara, disheveled hair and smeared lipstick, the coffee and bagel you digest on a daily basis, little children, silence, recyclable materials, trees, photosynthesis, growth, development.

No, love is you, I, and a careless mixture of everything else we worry about.

x at least three folders of overdue photos to blog about
x GP presentation on monday, which is also our 25th anniversary
x meeting bb on sunday to get her new phone, and a dinner together to celebrate our anni
x bought new adapter for lappie which cost me $85 :@
x out with the girls on thurs was fab though all of us were restless but still happy
x had dinner with bff & bb at ajisen today
x school drained the shit out of me, now i'm so tired & in need of yokoyoko
x lastly, happy birthday jemsybaby :) enjoy your big 2! we luv you (L)!

It's hard to be safe, it's difficult to be happy

HI Y'ALL I AM BACK!!
The trip was pretty alright, much better than I expected. Spent more than I expected! Bought hell lot of things teehee but yeh, this time I really shopped the blues away. I came back feeling much better, much lighter, much happier. Went without make-up throughout the whole trip, let my face & skin breathe! I'm getting used to my pale look already :)


Day 1
Zel & I only slept at 5am, woke up an hour later to prepare. It was more like a nap, I could barely open my eyes. Crying + sleepless = eye swollen like fuck! Gran was at my place early 'cos Uncle Lee drove her.. Auntie Shirley, Uncle Eric & their two girls cabbed over to our place quite late & I almost fell asleep while waiting!

Budget terminal is really..budget. They only got Hanis(Han's express outlet), Mac's & a magazine stand, that's all. Once you step into the terminal, you can see everything. But good enough, I guess, good for those who wants to fly but tight on cashflow or those who fly all the time. Save costs!

Had breakfast at Mac's, while the adults have their breakfast at Hanis. I love sausage mcmuffin without egg <3 I cut down a lot of cold drinks lately. Been drinking chinese tea, hot coffee, tea or milo. I don't know what got into me but hot drinks is good, especially for us girls. Else the cramps will kill us!

 

  

 

After we checked in, I shopped at the duty-free area & spent close to $60 of Victoria's Secrets! A cosmetic pouch, two eye shadows & one glitter liner! 'Cos Aunt Shirley & I spent above $90, we were given this metallic logo bag! But she let me have it 'cos I was telling mom that it's damn pretty, teehee thanks a lot Aunt Shirley!!

 

 

After the boarding gates. See how budget our budget terminal is!? But still, yay for cheaper fares!! Honestly, it was my first (virgin!) ride on a budget air plane. Really budget ok! Dad & I can't stop saying how budget it is. No cushion on the seat, no blankie, no food, no drinks, no entertainment, no newspaper!! We can't complain, can we? We only paid $80 for this ticket! Uncle Eric had this promo thingy, thus the cheap price. I definitely prefer SIA..but who doesn't? For the comfort & entertainment.

We got there in 45 minutes, or even earlier. I sat in the plane with Gran. She's so adorable, the way she signs her name, damn cute! She's a great companion anyway, kept laughing at whatever nonsense I said. She said she don't really like this plane, so I said, "ok wait until I earn enough money I'll charter a plane just for us ok!" & she laughed. How cuteeee :)

 

  

  

 

Look at Jenae trying to do the peace sign! Damn cuuuute she kept trying t do it but failed haha and kept looking at her fingers weirdly, must be wondering why she can't do it hahaha! The second picture, thanks to Zel, I didn't know she was taking but yeh, I was stoned hahaha. Jenae is so adorable, but very very very naughty!! Even her granny can't stand her, kept telling Aunt Shirley how naughty she was after she comes back from work. Still adorable, anyhow :)

When the van arrives, it took us an hour to get to the hotel. I fell asleep almost immediately after I put on my shades & iPod. Though it was damn hot, the sun shining into the van but I still managed to nap. Too tired, I supposed. Two hours of sleep, totally insufficient! When we got to the hotel, I kept telling sissy that I wanna sleep & can skip shopping for sleep just for today hahaha!

 

 

We stayed at The Federal Hotel instead. Was supposed to stay in Marriott but if we were to book, we've to book for four nights instead of just three. So dad sticked to our original plan. The hotel's quite okay..but I wouldn't advice anyone to stay there if you were to go KL. Won't tell you why here, ask me in private & I'll tell you :D

 

 

Wonton mee pok for Che

  

Chicken rice for my maid

  

Wonton mee for Jermaine

  

Roasted duck noodles for me & sissy

 

After resting in the hotel room for awhile, we headed out for food. We were starving!! The noodle house at Sungei Wang is damn good. 'twas our second time there already, damn yummy! Sis was like asking me why I chose to drink chinese tea haha I don't know I just feel like drinking?? I find myself so weird sometimes.

Quick lunch it was. We headed to The Pavilion next. It is a damn big shopping mall! Got all my favourite boutiques there ^^ They were having some BMW show there......

 

  

 

Beautiful, no!?!!!? BMW 325i Convertible!! Damn pretty omg I want it in red pretty plzzzzzzz.

 

  

  

 I forgot the flavour. :/

Had Baskin Robbins! I love BR (L) I wish BR, A&W & Krispy Kreme would come back to SG :( A&W used to be in SG but then I don't know what happened, it closed down. I want their curly fries & root beer float! Baskin Robbins is the best damn ice-cream next to Ben & Jerry's. Never tried Krispy Kreme but I heard that it is awesome. Really wanna try though..

 

  

  

 

Ain't it pretty? This is the end of my day 1 in KL. Bought a lot there! At the end of this post, I'll show you what I bought from the trip ok! Went back to the hotel & we bought supper. Yummy KFC wedges was rad. Their wedges tastes so good!! It's a MUST TRY when you're there, teehee!

Day 2

Woke up super early for breakfast at the restaurant. Just put on a pair of leggings with a random top from the luggage and off I went. The breakfast sucks. I only had tea, toast, orange juice & sausages. Yum tum tum I want mcmuffin now! After breakfast, I went back into the room to get ready for another long day ahead. Genting!!

Dad's friend came t pick us with his two cabbie friends. We needed three cabs for 13 people. Off we went to Genting!! It wasn't as cold as I thought it'd be. I didn't bring an outerwear 'cos when I asked mom if shorts are ok she said yes so yeh, just casual cooling wear, no need wear so nice. So there. But thank God, as it is the humid period, it isn't that cold up in the highlands.

First stop, THE OUTDOOR THEME PARK!!

 

 

Taken while waiting for Dad t get tickets :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don't ask me what I was doing..I really don't know

  

Aunt Shirley was so happy but Jenae was damn scared

Had very late lunch at Pizza Hut only at around 3pm. Met the rest later & they had Marrybrown. After that we walked around the place. Mom got two pairs of shoes & we left, back to KL. The ride home was interesting. Accident, village kiddos without shoes, durian trees, big shopping malls, high class hotels. Went back to the hotel first to rest. Headed to Pavilion again 'cos Che bought this Mango top at only S$10 so I pestered mama t go with me. Dad, mom, myself, sis & maid went together. Had dinner at FoodRepublic. The FoodRepublic there is super hugeeeeeee! A lot of different cuisine. I had phad thai noodles (see how much I love Thai food!), sissy had kimchi noodles, maid had sheng mee, mom & dad shared a plate of fried oyster. Bought a lot of Mango omg yay!!!!!! Cheap thrills uh huh headed back to the hotel & they bought supper. It's like a party every night at Gran's room!


Day 3
Suria KLCC + Mid Valley, the two big shopping centers we went. Bought a lot there. Nose, their shoe boutique (something like Charles & Keith), got bandage heels & sandals. Fucking pretty but don't have my size. DAMMIT! Mom bought a pair of mustard heels thee. Damn nice :( Had A&W there too!! Omg curly fries & root beer float~~ Dad bought a shirt from GAP. He kept asking me t buy the pair of boxers but he was rushing me so I said forget it. It's only S$15 :( and they got the navy blue polka dot & red hearts printed one!! I will go get the it at the local GAP boutique, really hope they still have it & in my size! Factory Outlet Store at Mid Valley was huuuuuge! Bought accessories & a few sleeping shorts there. Went bra shopping 'cos it is on sale & it's only S$4.20 each. NO JOKE!! Damn shiok I tell you I grabbed my size & made payment hahaha then we had dinner at Madam Kwan's Nonya Restaurant.

 

When I was in primary school, I kept praying to God that I want her to be my mom.

 

Fish & Chip

  

Chicken Chop which looks more like breaded chicken

  

Nasi Lemak

Took a cab back to the hotel & we went to walk around Sungei Wang & BB Plaza. Bought a little something for the girls, bff & my lovely girlfriend :D Took quite some time for us t get out of that place. Too many exits!! Next, we went to Haagen Dazs for ice-cream. Cappuccino Truffle & Raspberry <3 the last supper we had there was perfect. Frog-leg porridge, kway tiao, Thai fried beancurd in sweet chilli sauce & KFC. The porridge was deliciousssss!

Aunt Shirley: (to maid) Edna, come, come & eat the porridgeMe: (in dialect) She don't eat frog-leg leh
Mum: Really meh? How come I don't know
Maid: Yeh ok ok (taks a bowl of porridge, with a spoon taking the gravy & all)
Maid: What is this ah mam?
Mum: Frog-leg
Maid: (stop scooping & stones for 5 seconds)
Aunt Shirley: (burst into laughter)

IT WAS DAMN FUNNY. Just imagine us all in pjs & two small tables, everyone sitting together, some on the bed, some on the chairs. Her stoned reaction was damn funny & unexpected!



Day 4
It was father's day but didn't felt like it. Home. I was so damn excited. Not excited about the budget flight back but the feeling of being home, in Singapore again. The good food that awaits me :D Teehee. Once we got home, I unpacked my stuff &we went out for early dinner. Even Laura thinks that it was too early, she replied me on Twitter, "4pm for dinner?" Hahaha so! We went Changi Village for dinner. Dad suggested it. We let him because it was Father's day :)

 

Wonton meeeeee

 

Fried carrot cake, shiok only!

And I started sneezing during dinner. Sucks to be me! Damn sick right now. Fever, flu, cough, sore throat. Alicia scared me saying it might be H1N1!!! :( omg I was damn scared, I kept taking my temperature to make sure it's just me feeling feverish but it's not fever.

Today bb accompanied me to the doctor's & I'm feeling a lot better after drinking a lot of water & taking the medicine. Imma go rest after this post. But before I publish, I must show you what I bought this whole trip!!

 

  

7 new brassssss

 

Sleeping shorts from FOS

 

Victoria's Secret!

 

Mango tops each only for S$10 omg cheap or wut!?!!