Feel free to kiss me on the cheek even though I'd prefer the lips

I definitely will be happier than a bird with a french fry from today onwards. I'm done with being mad, I'm pretty much a very forgiving person. Apology works but not all the time, usually works on the first time.

I'm getting quite sick of visiting. I just wanna stay home, be in comfortable home clothes and study all day. Other than being able to dress up and wear new clothes, nothing that I fancy from visiting. It's quite boring sometimes. I've to go bainian tomorrow :[ Ugh again on Saturday, omg. But Saturday I've got Econs paper 10 fucking am in the morning. On a lighter note, Saturday we're having late night coffee at some random coffee house, whee! Come Sunday, it's our family day. We've planned to watch two movies on that day!!

Topshop private event was great. Free flow of Tiger beer (which I really dislike), snacks from some random hotel that we totally missed, DJ Sassy all tall and pretty, photos taken & printed, up to 65% discount but we found nothing pleasing to the eye. Ben & Jerry's yummy ice-cream, toilet cleaner singing qi ge long tong qiang tong qiang loudly in the toilet, Malay couple quarreling loudly by the sea, bumped into two ex-schoolmates on the train home, walked the ultra long way back home to spend more time talking.

I'm busy, on the phone, entertaining the crazy one who forgot to take her towel to shower and is stucked in the toilet. Tsk tsk.. I'll put up the photos in tomorrow's post. Grey's & PSP later hehehe GTA is bloody fun okay with all the killing and running people down hahaha!



Happy 20th ♥
I'll be you winter coat buttoned & zipped straight to the throat with the collar up so you won't catch a cold :) Luv u x

No one should stand without a hand to hold

Today was better, much happier as well :)

I finally got the hang of the whole torrent thing. Thanks Hui Jin & Cheryl for helping and teaching me how to do it! So today I got two PSP games, Loco Roco 2 & GTA Vice City Stories. I also got James Morrison's latest album, Songs For You Truths For Me. (I actually only wanted this particular song but I couldn't find it..I end up downloading the whole album :/) It took about two days to finish downloading. If only the desktop had more space, really. :/ I wanted to download Resident's Evil!! But no space ugh.

This morning we went over to Grandaunt's place. I've got an ang moh niece, Linda :D I didn't know, they just came back from Denmark just few days ago to be in SG for CNY. I've got pictures of her!! Just two, very cutee I love her!

After visiting, we went to the Mac's @ AMK for a quick bite & went back home. Relatives from mom's side came!

I wanna watch Grey's & play my new games heh heh I will study tomorrow I promise!!!!! For now, I will let the visuals do the talking :)

Day One

 

When I was busy preparing, Zel was busy snapping away

 

Outfit shots ^^

At Gran's place

 

 

 

  

  

  

Yonghan

 

Minhui

 

Chester

 

Chester, Jenae, Che, Minhui

 

We do this yearly. The whole family portrait thing :)

 

Cousins & Gran

 

Us with Gran

 

I luv u gran, always and forever. I promise I will be here,

be your legs when they can't take you anywhere.

 

Cousins..wait,  where's Ches!?

 

With mom. One of my favouite photos.

  

  

With Aunt Edna & Che

 

Aunt Shirley

 

Another one of my favourites!

Over at Godma Irene's place

Merl. I luv her dress!

  

  

  

  

Mom & Merl

  

Godma & Mom

  

Amount of  red packets collected on day 1 :)

Day Two

 

More or less this would work as an outfit shot :/ Didn't have time to take any!

Slouchy tee (old one I know shut up ok), wetlook leggings, lace heels and Prada bag

 

Linda u qtpie <3

  

Jenae, always my fav <3

  

@ Mac's

 

Tonight's dinner

 

Lou hei :)

I luv lou hei, veh veh fun :D

--
Ugh we're having this convo again, I hate it so much. Grey's & my nice still-soft-curly-hair will make me feel better tonight..


Do you wanna know something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.

May the ones you love, be the ones you keep

I'll make this a quick one, do up my hair, watch a little of Grey's & go to bed. No visuals but a summary of how the first day of CNY went for me. I'll upload the pictures (we took quite a lot today, actually) when I'm home from visiting tomorrow. Hopefully today won't be as boring/tiring as today is.

This morning we went over to Gran's. Had my virgin try at vegetarian steamboat. If I can avoid having that for brunch, I really would. I am not a big fan of vegetarian food, honestly. We stayed there until about 1ish and headed over to Godma Irene's place. Had wanton made by Godpa and we watched Catch Me If You Can on the telly. I love that movie &I will watch it again. The rest were having their own gathering in the dining area and they were talking so loudly I couldn't hear clearly! After that we went off to Aunt Alice's place. Had dinner. Yumz pig's stomach soup!! Talked, catch up over coffee, played games, watched Little Nyonya Reunion, had new year goodies & just came back home awhile ago.

I luv my heels. Though they are like..3.5 inches high & almost killed me. But it's okay I still luv heels. I'm gonna wear the wetlook leggings, slouchy top, pair it with my heels & prolly the Prada bag tomorrow! Sexcited. Tomorrow we're gonna visit Grandaunt, going over to Aunt Doris's place then the rest are coming over to our place to visit and dinner. Thank God they are all going back to work/school on Wednesday. Four days, almost 16 hours together everyday with them is hell.

x

As much as it feels unpredictable, when you start to dawn at it, it isn't really. It's quite obvious. Things can never stay good here, there's always that little niche that has to come into play & in someway distort something either drastically or just a tad. Depending on your situation, time & place you can always kind of predict the worst that could happen & according to whatever it is your doing, it being something good the more likely nothing bad is to happen or vice versa.

I got played with quick session of emotions that as of not to long ago, I thought I had overcome & that they were 98% erased from me. I felt forgiven & confident and just generally a better being. That's when I should of realized something terrible is prone to happen sooner or later. Things can't stay good for long here, we all know it. We've even said it out loud a couple times.

I never thought that something so small could spurt into something so big & so fast too. It really does prove that time does fly.

Mainly though, I don't want to have an empty pit in my stomach for ever now. I wonder when I'm thirty, how will I look back (I think about the future a lot & it always overwhelms me). I just want to simply apologize to an angel. You can pluck away a strand of hair but it will grow back. You'll always stay within me. I'm sorry.

x

Staring at this empty space, trying to think back about what I wanted to type in here. I had so much to put in here today. I had so much emotions rushing through me that I wanna blog about. But now staring at this space, I couldn't think of anything but your photo that I took of you which I kept as your small contact image on my phone with your name appearing in my screen. The image only appears small when there's a text, big when it's an incoming call.

When he asked how I was with the whole thing about you today, I stood next to him & said, "No, no turning back. Trust me on that." He replied, "Time will tell okay, and you'll go back if there is turning back." I couldn't answer him because my mind says no way but my heart is nodding away, dying to say yes. No because it is good for me and yes because I really, really want to turn back.

In his car, I was wondering where are you, are you enjoying the visiting & collection of red packets, remembering that you don't like the company of your relatives & annoying cousins. Wondering if you had fun, were you thinking of the same thing as I was..

The question is, have I really moved on or have I been mindfucking myself that I've moved on?

We'd all be lucky to have a love like that in a lifetime

 

Taken on 16th Jan.

Here are many questions that I have that I know will always be left unanswered because I would never have the heart to ask them because it hurts too much. Way too much. So much that I cannot bear. I've told you how I feel so many times before and each time I did, it fails. Right through. Without even having to complete what I wanted to say, I already knew it would fail. But I still told you anyway. I kept telling myself I shouldn't expect too much from you because whenever I do, I get disappointed, land myself in disappointment which leads to me being very very upset for the next few days.

And eventually I've just got to walk away. Walk away with as much of my heart & pride in tact as possible. If (inserts name) chases after me, great, but if you're having to walk away, chances are (inserts name) won't. So be ready to plaster a big fake smile on my face & tough through the hard parts. Because in the end, it's so much better that I left with what I could, then got left with nothing.

I don't know, I wish you were here right now with me.
Tonight you texted me, I was happy but..mixed feelings you know.

x

Reunion dinner was great. We had mini bbq and steamboat, 2 in 1! Six hours after dinner, and my tummy growls. Seriously. I'm constantly reminding myself that I'm on a diet! Ok but cny's here and with all the goodies..... :/ shrugs, I will cut down, maintain, whatever & everything. I'm just super sleepy now, I need to get some rest.

Did I mention, I permed my hair?
I love it, I always wanted curls! I will perm it permenantly after CNY.


Happy nu year everyone [[=