Don't follow your heart 'cause it just seems to get in your way

Tough night #2
with an essay of 1.5k words to write -- about done


You're too blinded by her to see that it is unfair for me, that I am upset too, that I am here hurting as well. Too blinded to see that I am crying.

To think you took this as a fucking joke.
Funny joke. (Y)

Forever, you said it without hesitation

"Some things are meant to happen. Some things are bound to be. Love has a way of making doubting hearts believe. Sometimes in spite of difference, sometimes against all odds, some things are meant to happen."


Teary 3am mornings on the bed with a broken heart to mend, thoughts in my head and used and soiled tissues by my side, where were you?
7am mornings with eyes struggling to open to see the sunlight shining in from the window by my bed with the first thought in my head - whatever our lips spoke of few hours before - what were you thinking?

Of me, I certainly hope.

Lies, hidden truth, unspoken
Should I put my guard down again?

So love failed

"What do you want?"
"I want a lot of things."
"What do you want the most?"
"The thing I want most...is to never lose you."


:(

And I will love this love forever

Happy 22nd :)

Two more 29ths before our 24th. Cannot imagine staying with someone for so long! Never thought I would either, the whole not being able to live without someone, being able to live with someone thing. I'm so glad we're here now, after all the fights we had.

I really hope you'd like what I've gotten you. Hehehehe I definitely like what you've gotten me!! Cannot wait to see you tomorrow heh

No matter what you said to hurt me, how you shouted at me, unreasonable you may be, I will still love you even if my heart can't take the amount of love anymore (L)

Love of my life

I love you, with or without your chen long nose.


See you later precious, cannot wait! Bak chor mee + slice :)

But I forget myself when I don't have you

I didn't have time to update the past few days as I said this two weeks will be assignment-intense week, which is good for me. Finally to get down to work and do some revision. Work those brain cells!

 
Still sneezing but felt a lot better so I went ahead to school in the morning, even though I don't have to attend the tutorial at all. For the attendance's sake! And the assignments. I got questions to ask so I went. Bff was so so so so so insanely crazy over Iknowwho :) Girlfriend was at school, to make payment and do the TOELF test. And guess what? She surprised me with fresh red pleasant-smelling strawberries!!!! They are my favourite :) Thanks bb you are so wonderfool!

We took a bus and went for lunch together at Orchard Swensen's for the 1-for-1 lunch treat!

 

  

  

 

Cheap or what, the bill only came up to $36 for the three of us! After that we went to Far East for Slice :) AGAIN HAHAHAHA

 

with additional crushed oreos

I was sleepy, so was bff but I needed to finish the assignment so I suggested to head back home early. We all agreed. Took train, and bff changed her mind. She went home to get her lappie and came over to my place.

So the day ended with me turning in after a very very tired day of writing essay at 11pm :)

On Wednesday, which was yesterday, I had Mac's breakfast with Zel in the morning before heading to school. I was energetic, having at least 8 hours of sleep the night before :) Bought breakfast for Jems as well! We were very unlucky. Got to school and Jems was in tee and shorts. That stupid lady caught her for wearing a shorts that is too short. As stated in the rules, bottoms length must not be 4 inches above knee. RIDICULOUS! We paid so much to be in MDIS and this is what we get? SERIOUSLY!!!! In the end, she was sent home after taking her name down. I didn't like the idea of her being left alone and I didn't want her to miss class so I said we go to the void deck nearby to wait for Marc. Jems planned to cab in to avoid that lady. While waiting for Marc, Jems was eating her breakfast and this Indian guy came and went, "You got two dollar?? You got two dollar?" Freaked the shit out of us. Marc came and we took a cab without getting checked at the gates again! PLAN SUCCEEDED!!

It was really a very unlucky day for Jems. We went into class, Jems wanted to buy drinks so we went. Guess what? THE DAMN MACHINE DON'T WANNA TAKE HER COINS! We tried a few times before we finally gave up. Walked back and Jems was THIS close to opening the wrong classroom's door! Thank God I was quick enough to call her else............tsktsktsk!

Jems wanted to have fun choy for lunch but school's canteen was sold out of it so we went to the 7-11 convenience store opposite the train station and sat "by the bay" to have our lunch. Ok by the chess table with hell lot of elderly and birds around -.- Talked about random stuff. I was too energetic, she was too tired. Which resulted in a lot, heaps of laughter and nonsense coming from us!

Unlucky day, much.
Thank God the rest of the day went on well for her, phew!

Bff came over when I got home and we did our work as usual but she left early to meet her friends. Aunt came over with her two kids & Gran again :) I taught her to online shop and she bought a top and a dress from bonitochico.livejournal! I bought a f21 dress, and a top both in navy :) heh heh finally got new clothes!

And today, it was our tv news production for TVRP :) I'm glad it went well even though I looked horrible in the video. Seriously, the next Lim's class - I'm with you Zoe - REMIND ME NOT TO ATTEND. He's gonna play it in class :(

The killer heels killed me. I ended up taking a cab back. Bff came and we finished our PR essay!!!!!!!!! She is finally starting on her JNB essay and I'm touching up on my JNB essay. YAY YAY YAY oh oh and Agri's joining our group for ASEP and she has done it already which means we only need to edit it a bit here and there before we hand up!!!! :D

Okay, I shall reply the comments that are worth bringing my attention to.
Reply to the anonymous:
I wouldn't be surprised if she said she'd buy them for me either. My girlfriend, she is not the romantic type but to her showering me with gifts is a way to show that she loves me. She is not very good with words, in fact, she is a someone of a few words. She doesn't know how to express herself well enough in a way to make her feel comfortable expressing. Showering me with gifts is one of the ways she does it. Some others would be bringing me to a nice restaurant for dinner, surprising me with my favourite food/games/whatnots & etc.

I don't make use of her, I am very very aware of that. Not guilty, definitely. You could say that in your point of view, because you are an outsider, you didn't see how I refuse gifts from her all the time or how we get into silly arguments because I didn't want her to buy me anything whenever she insisted. One of our arguments recently was because I refused her gifts when she just wanted to buy me something because, as she claims, she didn't buy me anything recently and she wants to, which I really really think it is not necessary to waste the money.

I don't blog about everything on my blog. I don't go like, yeh I bought two RL shirts at one go for her and all that. And yes I did. Did I blog about that? Nope, I didn't. Sometimes I just don't feel like, yknow. I don't want everyone to know about everything I do and all that. If my girlfriend wants to blog about it, she will do it in her own spac.

DO NOT JUDGE ME because only God can judge me. I hate it when people do that. You don't even know me personally yourself, don't do that. You wouldn't like it if someone judged you either, no? Like what bff said, for this coming 22nd anniversary, I bought her something that burnt a hole in my pocket but I know she is worth the whole budget plan I'm doing to save up and everything else :)

But all in all, thank you for the comments. It shows what people think of me, also good to know that there are people who are actually nice enough to comment my mistakes and hoping for change.


Ok long entry till then!
I'm off to bed ^^
p/s: TGIF!!!!!!!

I wish that I could be the one you wake up to

"I still wait for the phone in the middle of the night thinking you might call me, if your dreams don't turn out right. And it still amazes me that I lie here in the dark wishing you were next to me, with your head against my heart. If you asked me how I'm doing, I'd say just fine, but the truth is, if you could read my mind not a day goes by that I don't think of you."

Thank you for the strawberries ^^ I was surprised, I still am!

P was just talking to me on MSN a while ago and she asked if I am still attached with the same person she last remember from. It is you, the person she last remember I was with. It is still you, I replied her. She asked how long have we been together. I told her this month is our 22nd, which makes it 1 year 10 months. She was happy for me, saying this is my longest relationship, how I should be contented that you are better than X. Also that you are sure worthy of my love, much more than X was. She was glad about that.

The whole conversation reminded me of what a long way we came from. Whatever bad issues we've gone through, it is over and it made us stronger. I am so glad to be here, at the end of the race with you.

I am just happy to be with you, I want you to know that.

I love you.

All my thoughts are of you, I am so completely yours

Not anyone in particular but I know of a few at my finger tips right now. No, not emo today but when I saw this, I was reminded about that few people who became people I knew...... :( this could bring tears to my eyes but today seems like a fabulous day. 8 full hours of sleep, breakfast with zel, many signs of a bad day happening to Jems & I, dirty kinky conversations with M & Jems, Lo Mai Kai/Fun Choy lunch at 7-11 opposite the train station with Jems (budget much?), home, waiting for bff to come while doing assignment.

Sounds like a perfect day, no?

And I'm sure you know you are one of them. Even mummy talks about you, and she knows how it breaks my heart to do so but she is just concerned about how things are right now....

Don't change everything that you love about me when you know that I love you

Feeling very sick :( nose ran away and my back hurts a lot. This is due to insufficient rest & low intake of liquid! Ahh this sucks. I shall pop a pill and sleep early tonight or this will cause me to miss more classes & lesser time and energy for assignment.

Sunday was well-spent with the girlfriend :)

 

  

  

 

We caught Paul Blart: Mall Cop! Hilarious movie :) I actually thought Amy was quite pretty but bb doesn't think so? :/ Anyway before the movie we walked over to Plaza by the Park for lunch. The food court was very crowded as it was lunch time so we went over to Delifrance instead.

 

 

We ordered breaded chicken with curry baked rice and spaghetti with scallops :) the baked rice is good but too spicy for my liking! scallops are to blend, but still good stuff!

We got nowhere to go after that so I went Daiso and bought daily necessities and seaweed for baby. She wanted to check out Topman and we did. We walked over to Wisma, spent some time there until it was about 5ish. Bee suggested that we have dinner at this Hong Kong restaurant but I thought it was too pricey and we don't need such a good dinner just for a normal Sunday evening. We went to Din Tai Fung instead!!

 

  

  

 

We've both been waiting to dine at Din Tai Fung for a while but we just kept quiet about it hahaha see how annoying we both get? I have hell lot of cravings these days!! I was craving for xiaolongbaos when I saw the pictures *S posted on her Facebook. Makes me really hungry talking about it now. With lots of vinegar and garlic!! :D Anyway so after that we walked over to Far East to look for the bored and tired and pitiful bff who worked throughout the weekend. Tsk tsk tsk poor sing leh yew hahah wanted to stay longer but her gay boss came so we had to leave. I WANT THE STUDDED CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTINS I SAW OMG very nice!! I was telling bee that if I have the cash to spare, I would buy even if I don't wear heels often. Too pretty to resist :)

Before leaving we went for our favourite dessert.

 

  

  

 

Yes, Slice again!!!!
This time we had Breakfast in Bed with additional crushed oreos. Very very very nice! It is my favourite of all that I've tried. I would order that again the next time I'm there heh heh heh!

Got home early as I wasn't feeling too well and I wanted to rest early for the night. Got home at around 8.30pm, amazingly early but oh well, there's always other time for fun :)


As for today, I spent the entire day sniffing and sneezing with bff in the study while doing our assignments. I'm happy to say that we're almost done!! I don't know about bff but I just need to do some editings here and there to perfect the essay. We planned to start on JNB tomorrow. I bought Straits Times and also watched the news on Channel 5 just now to aid in writing the esay better.

This week will be a very stressful week as assignments are dued. I think next week will be a busy week as well but it's okay. Sunshine after the rain :)


Oh, before I leave, I'm happy to know that I have such a loyal reader like you who comes back every so often to check for new entry or comments. Cool to have you around! Your comments made me feel a lot better about myself yknow. But I feel a tinch of jealousy from your tone...I sure do hope my instincts are wrong. Anyway have fun anonymous, playing your own game. If I know where and how to get a life, I would gladly tell you how. But unfortunately, I don't.. so have fun with this child's play. Cheers!

Your love's like rain on a tin roof, the sweet song of a summertime storm

Thank God weekends are here. Time for me to take a break. Haven't slept well in a while :/ I keep waking up every hour, I don't know why. Really sucks to be me!

Anyhoos yesterday bff surprised me with mcmuffin!!

Sanks you bff, i iz heart you the most (L)
Because I was craving for it and we didn't have time to get breakfast so she bought it for me ^^ sanks you again bff heh heh.

School was..good. NOT THE PART ABOUT YOU GUYS DIGGING MY INBOX OK WTH seriously you guys hahaha more like licking old wounds, no? But I'm sure it is all very good :) bff kept going 'are you gonna cry omg are you gonna cry?' I'm like no no no no no I am not hahaha it is really all good no lies!

After school, bb came to pick me and with bff, we went thrift shopping!!

This place really sucks :( bought nothing, saw nothing that I like either. So we left and took a bus to town instead. Went to Far East and had Slice again!!

 

Bff's :)

Ours :)

I must have Breakfast in Bed the next time we go Slice. It looks damn good omg cornflakes, rainbow rice and chocolate sauce. Looks yummy :)

 

  

  

  

  

  

  

After that we took the train to Dhoby Ghaut for dinner, while bff went home for dinner.

 

Dinner at 99c sushi :)

Whoa 99c was busywusy. A lot of people dining there on a Friday evening. The group of guys behind happens to be bb's secondary school mates! A group of smarty pants, really. They all look smart. Can tell they are the A class people.

Bumped into Yvette and her friends after dinner while walking around. We took a train back home and had ice-cream at Mac's :) I was home early to watch the 9pm show on Channel 8.


Family gathering tomorrow at Aunt's, out with bb on Sunday. I really need to rest and since tomorrow I don't have to be there early, I can finally sleep in. Yay!

P/s: Happy 4th to Shim & Lh :) <3

My true fear? Losing someone

Guess what the postman brought me!

 

:D

My long awaited doodle organizer!!

I'm starting to like sprees......

Off to school now! x

I'll never let this love fall in the middle through it all

School was.. retarded today. Really. Bff & I went into class for about 10 minutes just to copy notes, check the attendace and went off. Jems, bff & I took bus to Vivo City for lunch and quick shopping!

We had lunch at FoodRepublic. It was pretty empty when we were there as it wasn't lunch time yet.

 

  

  

 

  

  

 

I feel like eating the chicken cutlet from school. The one at FoodRepublic is not good enough to satisfy my crave for chicken cutlet hehehe!

Did quick shopping for Jemi's boyfriend's birthday present & headed home after that. I was supposed to meet A & Y but no one texted to say anything.... :( Our meet up fail all the time guys!! When i got home...

Mom: I thought you said you'll be late?
G: Yeh but there's tutorial A and B so I went for A, I don't have to attend B
Mom: Er okay whatever. Had lunch?
G: Yeh I did. You meeting Aunt Shirley later right?
Mom: She's coming over. Now.
G: Okay good I'm going to nap for awhile
Mom: But she's coming over now leh
G: Yeh I know but I buay tahan already I really have to nap mom my eyes are closing!!

While that conversation took place, I was removing my accessories, a quick wash up & by the time this conversation ended, I was on my bed, feeling all dreamy & comfortable :)

The noise from living hall woke me two hours later. They arrived just awhile after I'd fallen asleep. Haha Jenae was so adorable. When she saw me, the first thing she did was open her arms, asking me to carry her. They just got back from Hong Kong and Aunt bought me a nice bracelet, sanks you i love it!! :D

It was early and there's nothing we can do at home so mom suggested that we go over to the mall. Burger King first, then to the library where I had brownie with vanilla ice-cream (L) with a lot of cookbook, beauty books & also 'Things to do when you're single again'. Though I'm not single again nor single, the books actually suggested a lot of things to do during free time. It's not like I have a lot of free time on hand but who knows, when I'm done with diploma, I would have a lot of free time to spare!

 

The cutsie princess :)

  

  

  

  

 

Believe it or not, she's a coffee addict. I like how she says coffee. She goes 'ko-phee!' And phee in a higher pitch. Cute or what? I love her :)

I brought her to sit on this kiddy ride. She was scared at first but when she realised it isn't moving, it is not gonna move either, she got comfortable and refused to get out. :@ I had a hard time convincing her to get out of that bloody car! If it's not for food, I don't think she will come down. I just went, 'Mum-mum (food), you want? We go library, read books and mum-mum?' & she just looked at me and said, 'bao-bao!' which means carry.

Uncle came later to our place for dinner. Feels good to see everyone at our place again ^^ I hope aunt comes over more often with the kids for dinner. I love having them around. They stayed until about 10pm and went home.

I'm on the phone with bb now :D discussing what we should do/have this weekend!! Haha a little too excited but we've been dying to try new food, new places. Sick of sticking to the same place or restaurants we go to all the time. Ivin's for Nonya, Lemongrass for Thai, Bi Feng Tang for Hong Kong cuisine, Hog's Breath for steaks or No Signboard Seafood for crabs & prawns? Fickle-minded, indecisive :(


I like that we're making plans. Ditch those friends, they are not worth it. We both know that well enough, no? You have me, you have me for all time, ling. You can rely on me, fo'sure :) We're gonna have better days, a lot a lot of better days. I love you, sweet one, goodnight.